Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
