I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize