You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
