I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
