thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
