Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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