It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
someone owes me an orgasm
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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