I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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