he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
