the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
