GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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