Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
