community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
