8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
