At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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