he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
