You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
