I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Of course I have a pirate flag
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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