Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Found your dick twin last night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
