omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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