So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
