OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
