and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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