Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just puked most of my soul out..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
