Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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