my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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