Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
