thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
