dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
