last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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