I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
