walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
