so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
