So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
