Don't make out with my wife yet
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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