You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
