My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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