i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
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