The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
