so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
