I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
