If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
