We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
