Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
