Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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