it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
