you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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