What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
