I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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