do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
