Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The air was thick with penises
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
