Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
