And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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